Tragedy of the Heart
by ma1teo
Summary: A tragedy happens to Nadine. How will this affect her and how would she deal with it? What would happen if someone leaves her something unexpected? This story includes the Spencers and Liz as well.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone I'm back with another story. I hope everyone likes this. Please let me know by leaving your feedback.

Thanks

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Fall 2010

It has been a day since she received the news. She couldn't stop crying. As soon as she heard that the man she had loved more than anything had died her heart became empty. She no longer had hope that one day they would find each other again and this time he would love her back. In one moment all the chances they would ever have and hope that maybe one day she could have all that she dreamed of vanished into thin air. Now all she felt was emptiness and loneliness. Yesterday she had received the news from Liz.

_Flashback_

_Nadine was at the Nurse's station working when Liz ran off the elevator with tears streaming down her face. When Nadine saw the state she was in she ran after her. Liz ran into the locker room thankful that it was empty. She was sobbing and tears were still flowing when Nadine entered. She approached her carefully not wanting to interrupt her private moment but just wanted to make sure she was okay._

"_Liz…"_

_Liz looked up and saw Nadine_

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah... Thanks Nadine. I just got some bad news."_

"_Is there anything I can do?"_

"_No but I think you should hear the news too."_

"_Okay." _

_Nadine takes a seat next to Liz on the bench. She was preparing herself for the news._

"_Nadine. It's Nikolas."_

"_Oh my god. Is he okay? Is it Spencer?"_

"_Nikolas is dead."_

_It only took a few seconds before Nadine had tears flowing down her face._

"_NO!!"_

_Nadine started crying hard_

"_What happened??"_

"_There was a plane crash. He was away on business when his plane crashed and there were no survivors."_

_All Liz could hear was her sobbing. Liz then took Nadine into her arms._

"_I'm so sorry Nadine. I knew you cared deeply for him."_

"_Liz. I love him so much. I loved him more than I have ever loved another person. I know he didn't feel the same way about me and that was the hardest thing for me to realize. But I had hope that one day he would feel the same way about me. He would not have Emily on his mind every second of everyday and finally see me. I know I'm stupid for thinking and wishing for that. Like what would he ever see in someone like me? Oh, god Spencer. How is he?"_

_Liz had no idea what to say to Nadine. She had no idea to the extent of Nadine's feeling for Nikolas. She felt so bad for her. She had no idea she was still harboring all these feelings for him for so long after they broke up. She had no idea she was still hoping that one day he would finally love her instead of Emily. _

"_I'm so sorry Nadine. I had no idea. Spencer is fine he is staying with his Aunt Alexis. I really don't know what she's told him."_

_Liz took her in her arms again._

"_I'm so sorry."_

_Liz's pain was nothing compared to hers. Yes Liz has been friends with Nikolas since they were teenagers but she was never in love with him like Nadine was. _

"_Nadine, listen to me. Nikolas had confided in me one thing about your relationship. He hated the way you guys ended. He hated losing you the way he did. You were such an important part of his life and then one day you were gone."_

"_Liz I couldn't do it anymore. One day we were together and happy and then the next day that woman showed up and destroyed everything. When she showed up he no longer saw me. I worked so hard to show him there was a chance to have a life and a chance to love again after losing someone. Then she showed up looking just like Emily and it was like we were back to the beginning when he had the tumor. When he saw her he saw Emily and I couldn't compete with that."_

"_He never wanted you to. Nadine, believe me when I say this Nikolas thought the world of you and he knew he didn't treat you the way you deserved. Nikolas thought he was the lucky one when he was with you. He saw so much in you and don't ever forget that. He just wanted you to be happy."_

_Nadine closed her eyes while she was listening to Liz. Deep down she knew he cared for her and she even thought he was starting to fall in love with her. They didn't have enough time together for him to really explore their feelings for each other. She had no idea what he did feel for her especially after the cold way in which they broke up._

"_Thank you Liz for saying that. I needed to hear it. I have never told anyone how I felt about him before. It felt good."_

"_Nadine, I'm here anytime you ever need anyone."_

"_Thank you. I appreciate that."_

_End Flashback_

After her conversation with Liz she went home in no condition to work. She hadn't gone back to the hospital since then. As she lies on the couch remembering all the good times they had together. It may have been only a few months that they were together as a couple but it was a blissful time in her life. Remembering the first time she kissed him, the first time he kissed her, their first romantic dinner, their first dance, in the hospital after the fire when she awoke and saw him sleeping in her room, and the first time they made love. What were the chances of her losing two loves so far in her life? She is still young and she lost Bruce and Nikolas. Bruce, her first love, she didn't know if anything would have happened with him if he came back safely from Iraq. Would she have married him, her high school sweetheart, like many of her friends from home had done? Would she have ever moved to Port Charles if he was still alive? Would she have ever met Nikolas? Nikolas, her heart, the man she knew would have a piece of her for the rest of her life. As she was reminiscing her telephone began to ring. She made no attempt of getting up to answer it. The answering machine went on with her cheerful voice.

_Hi. It's Nadine. Sorry I missed you. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._

_Hi, Nadine. This is Alexis Davis. I'm sorry I missed you and have to leave this on your answering machine. As I understand you have heard of my nephew's death. It is my job to handle his estate and he had requested your presence at the reading of his will. It will be at Wyndamere Thursday at 10 am. Again I'm sorry and I hope to see you then. Goodbye Then._

Nadine was in shock. What in the world would Nikolas leave her and so long after their breakup? Nadine was confused on why Nikolas would want her presence there but she would find out in a few days.

Nadine fell asleep with nothing but Nikolas on her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took so long to post the new chapter. I hope you like it and let me know of what you think. Always love and appreciate any reviews.

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It had only been a few days but Thursday felt like an eternity to Nadine. She woke up tired from her sleepless nights. She got out of bed and took a long hot shower which felt good; it was something she hadn't done in days. She stepped out of the shower and sat to put on some makeup. Then, she went to her closet to pick out something to wear. She moved her fingers over her clothing moving past her casual jeans and t-shirts to her dresses. She didn't have many and fingered one by one. She came across the dress she wore to her aunt's funeral, the dress she wore to the reopening of the haunted star, the dress she wore on the first and last new years she spent with Nikolas, and the suit she wore when she went in front of the senate fighting for her aunt's patent. She decided on the suit; it was the only thing Nikolas had ever bought her. Somehow wearing that suit made her feel close to him. She could picture him at the store carefully picking a suit for her. It was probably something he has done for many of the women he had been involved with but he picked it for her. Meticulously and carefully picking something for her like he did with every decision in his life. She got dressed and did her hair and looked at her watch and knew she needed to leave to get to Wyndamere on time.

Nadine arrived at Wyndamere and Alfred showed her into the room where all his family and friends was sitting. She saw Alexis, Lucky, Liz, and Lulu. Liz spots Nadine and comes over and they embrace each other.

"Nadine, how are you doing?"

"Okay I guess. Little surprised I'm her though."

"Are you?"

"Aren't you?"

"No. Not really."

Alexis interrupts.

"Okay I think everyone is here. So let's get started. Unfortunately we are all here under unhappy circumstances. My nephew expressed hi wishes to do this as soon as possible even before his funeral. He wanted everyone that he cared about to be here. So everyone in this room is someone that he loved and cared about. Nikolas made a video to express his wishes as far as his estate and possessions."

Alexis puts the video on and Nadine breaths in when she sees his beautiful face.

"Hi. I appreciate everyone for coming. To say this is weird is an understatement. Anyway, let me start. To Spencer I leave 65% of my estate and Wyndamere and this estate is to be split if I happen to have any other children. The inheritance is to be distributed when Spencer turns the age of 25. I don't expect Spencer to be raised at Wyndamere but when he turns of age he can do whatever he wants with it. To my brother and Sister I give them 5% each for them and their children. To my Aunt Alexis I give her 15% for her and her children. I also give Liz 1% for her and her children. And lastly, Nadine. There will never be anything in the world that I could give you to pay you back for everything you have done for me. I am leaving everyone letters including you. I hope that in some way it will explain my actions and how I really feel about you. I just wish I could have told you in person face to face how much I love and adore you.

Tears started streaming down Nadine's face hearing those words coming from his lips.

"Alfred, can you please get her a napkin and not a tissue?"

They both started laughing.

Everyone started looking at Nadine in confusion.

Nikolas continued.

"Nadine, sweetheart, I leave you $10 million to do as you please."

Nadine was in shock at him leaving her that much money.

"Nadine, now I say you can do as you please but before you give all of it away to charity. I just ask you not to give it all away. Buy yourself something anything. You were never a person who cared about money and that is probably the quality that I loved most about you. I want you to do something with the money for me please. Go on a shopping spree; buy yourself a house, or a car. Anyway, the last thing is custody of Spencer. I know whoever raises him will do a great job but I have one person in mind who I think will do an exceptional job. I know people will be surprised by my decision but I think this woman is perfect for the job. My wish is to have Nadine raise Spencer. Nadine, this is only if you want to. If you decide not to I would totally understand. The money is not under the obligation of taking Spencer. I just think you were born to be a mother and you would show my son that he is the most loved little boy in the world. If you choose not to take Spencer then custody would go to my Aunt Alexis. Okay that's about it. The rest of my estate would go to charity and my Aunt Alexis will give you all my letters. Oh, I have one letter for Spencer to be given to him when he's older and more able to understand. Okay thanks for staying and listening. I love you all. Good Bye."

Alexis goes to turn off the tape. Liz goes to Nadine. Nadine was sobbing and Liz put her arms around her.

"It's okay. See he did love you back."

"Why didn't he tell me? We could have been together. We could have been happy."

"Nadine, I don't know but maybe the letter will explain it."

Nadine lets Liz go.

"Yeah" and shakes her head yes.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Have you eaten anything?"

"No. I'm not hungry."

"You're coming with us for some lunch."

"No. Really I'm not hungry."

"No arguments."

"Okay. But can you give me a few minutes. I need to speak to Alexis."

"No problem."

Nadine made an attempt of wiping her tears from her eyes and walked over to Alexis.

"Alexis'

"Yes, Nadine."

"I don't know how this works."

"Oh, well we will do some paperwork and the money will be wired to your account."

"No, I wasn't referring to the money. I meant Spencer."

"So you were interested in having custody of Spencer?"

"Yes, it was Nikolas' last wish and I've always loved Spencer. What has Spencer been told?"

"I haven't told him anything yet. I'm not sure exactly what I should tell him. Would you prefer to do it?"

"Alexis I think I should be there. We could tell him together."

"Okay. Take a few days for yourself then give me a call and we'll discuss it more. We can discuss this and his memorial service I would like your input on. Oh and Nadine we'll discuss the money as well. Nikolas was insistent on making sure you received the money and it looks like he knew you all too well.

Nadine smiled.

"Okay. Thank you. Good bye."

"Bye."

Nadine walked away and towards Liz.

"Okay. I'm ready."

"Good because I'm starved."

Nadine, Liz, Lucky, and Lulu left together.

20 minutes later

They walked into Kelly's and got a table and placed their order.

"Well thank you so much for inviting me. Oh, and Liz thanks for being there during my two breakdowns in the last few days."

"Anytime."

"Thanks. I do want to let you all know that I will be taking guardianship of Spencer if he wants me to. I just wanted to let you know that I don't want Spencer to lose any of his family. So if any of you want to see Spencer just let me know. I think we should set up a regular play date with Spencer, Cameron, and Jake."

"I think that would be great," Liz said.

"Do you have any idea what you're going to do with the money?" Lucky asked.

"No idea and you guys?"

"Start by putting it aside for the kid's future," Lucky responded.

"What about you Lulu?"

"I don't know I guess maybe buy a place of my own."

"Yeah, I guess I should do the same thing. I can't have a little boy living in my cramp apartment. I still can't get over the fact he left me so much money."

"Yeah. I can't figure out what the percentages equal in real money, "Lulu said.

"I'm sure it's a lot. One thing Nikolas was always was generous. But money was always so important to him. I still remember the reading of my aunt's will and how outraged he was that she didn't leave me any monetary compensation."

They all laughed.

"I don't think Nikolas knew not to have money. It was the only thing he knew," Lucky said.

"Yeah. He was so different from all of us. He never had to struggle, had to rely on a job for an income, he was pretty spoiled. Something I told him more than once. That's one thing I will try not to do to Spencer."

"That would be something good to try to teach Spencer. Nikolas always gave him whatever he wanted," Liz said.

"I know. I think it would be a challenge."

"But if anyone can do it that's you, Nadine," Liz said.

"Thank you for your confidence."

"Why did we never do this before? Why did it take for this happening for us to actually get to know you Nadine? We should have done this when you were with my brother."

"Thank you. I wished we did this before too. When things ended with me and Nikolas I did feel really lonely. When I came to town I became good friends with Leyla and when I met Nikolas he became my whole world. Then I lost both of them at the same time. I really felt like I had nothing left. It was one thing when Nikolas ended our romantic relationship but I thought we would always have our friendship. Okay I need to stop this. This is too depressing."

"There is nothing wrong in saying that he hurt you. My brother could be an idiot sometimes," Lulu said.

"Yeah he was but I loved him anyway."

"I'm so sorry, Nadine. You guys were really never given a chance. He was happy when he was with you. I never saw him try to be humorous until he met you and you brought that out in him," Lucky said.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

The four of them sat at Kelly's having lunch together knowing that they had created a bond together. The key element was Nikolas. It was a shame that it took his death to create the friendship. He was a sibling, a friend, and a love that would never be forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days had past. Nadine took this time to for herself and tried to get her apartment ready as much as possible for a little visitor who might be a part of her life for now on. She knew she would have to get a bigger place but her apartment will have to do for now. She was still sprucing up the place trying to make it as cheerful as possible. She spoke to Alexis yesterday and they made arrangements to meet and speak to Spencer today. She still had a few hours before she had to go to Alexis' home. She took another once over to make sure everything was perfect as possible. She knew she was obsessing but she couldn't help it. She went into the bedroom getting her purse and emptying the contents on her bed to change her purse. An envelope fell out with her name written on the outside. She put her fingers over the writing debating with herself whether she should open it. At first she avoided opening it knowing she was an emotional mess. Then, she became so busy she simply didn't think about it. Looking at the envelope she felt it was time to open it. She carefully opened the envelope making sure she didn't rip it and unfolded the beautiful paper he had written on and started reading it.

**Nadine,**

**I guess there is only one reason that you are reading this letter and that I have passed away and that we were not together in the end. I wanted to try to explain some things and somehow explain my feelings. First of all, I wanted to just say how sorry I am for everything that had happened between you and me. There is nothing in the world I could say that would make up for the way I behaved and make it forgivable. I will not go into the details or rehash things that were done or said; probably more for myself. When I think back then at my behavior I get so upset for my stupidity. I am so sorry for it all especially for ever letting you walk out of my life. You have no idea how much I've missed you. How I miss your smile, your laugh, your humor, your sweet soft lips, and your warmth. Nadine, it took me so long after I lost you to come to the realization that I love you more than anything in this world. I love you for the amazing person you are with all your quirkiness that come with the package that make you who you are and I will until the day I die. I guess that is true since this letter is upon my death. I know you and you're probably asking why I never told you when I was living. I wanted to so many times. You have no idea how many times I have come to the hospital just to watch you even just to get a glimpse of you. How many times I've wanted to go to you and take you into my arms and kiss you like there was no tomorrow. How many times I wished and prayed you would come to Wyndamere like you used to and you would kiss me like you did when you first kissed me. How many times I have dreamed of making love to you over and over again. All I can say is that I have wanted to and have tried so many times but I couldn't do it. I knew when we were together before and when we ended things how I had really hurt you. I knew I couldn't do that to you again. That's why I had kept my distance and never told you how I truly felt. I know it will be a regret of mine. I knew that you loved me before and I had no idea of my feelings for you. I knew I couldn't love you then the way you deserved to be loved; fully and unconditionally with nothing holding us back. At that time I couldn't do that. But more than anything I wished I had the guts and the courage to tell you how I truly felt before I left this earth. I would have been happy even to be with you one day versus the miserable existence I have been living since I lost you. The only thing I could wish for is for you to find someone who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. To find someone who would give you all of your desires and treat you like a princess. Just be happy. So you must know by now that I have asked you to take guardianship of Spencer. I know it's a very selfish thing for me to ask. After all I have put you through and all that you have done for me I'm still asking more from you. I asked this of you for many reasons. First, because Spencer has always loved you and you were always good to him and treated him with total respect. Second, if there is anyone who would love my son unconditionally and raise him right it would be you. But I do understand if you feel you cannot take care of him. I know you'll do the right thing. You always do. I guess that's about it. Nadine, take care of yourself and Spencer. I have left a note for him to be given to him when he gets older to understand. I want you to take care of each other and love each other. If you couldn't be his stepmother then be his guardian and the mother he has never had. Be happy and love again. I know one day it will happen. You will meet someone who is worthy of your unbelievable love. You need to take that chance and not waste a minute like yours truly. One thing you have always done was to live your life to the fullest. Don't ever lose that. Live everyday like it's your last. Don't have all the regrets that I have. I love you. Goodbye, my angel.**

**Nikolas**

Nadine folded up the letter and put it on her bureau. She went back to the bed and she lies down with her head on the pillow. She had tears in her eyes and had them practically the whole time she was reading the letter. She closed her eyes and sobbed at the thought of Nikolas finally telling her how he felt about her but it was too late. It was too late for her to take him in her arms and tell him how much she loves him. It was too late for her to kiss him and for them to make love celebrating their love for each other. Too late for them to make plans for the future; for them to be a family just the three of them. She cried over what could have been and of the time she was robbed of. She cried over the times they missed out on. All the holidays they could have shared. All of the Christmas' watching Spencer rip open his gifts. All the candlelit dinners they never got to have. All of the vacations they never got to spend together. All the missed kisses and all the nights they never got to make love. She stayed like that for awhile in the sanctuary of her bed remembering all the times they did share. All the intimate conversations, their first kiss, their second kiss, the first time they made love, all the times they went riding together, and the time they spent together in Ohio before her Aunt passed. Suddenly, a smile crept across her face thinking of all the great times they had shared versus thinking of all the time they missed out on. It might have not been a long time but it was a happy time. She was happy that he did write the letter. She knew she had two things left as a reminder of him and his love. She would have Spencer and this letter. Spencer was always a reminder of Nikolas to her. The boy had his father's eyes, deep and soulful. Whenever she would start to really miss him she would read this letter as a reminder. A reminder of their love but he was right she couldn't dwell on the past. He spent so much time of his life looking in the past instead of looking towards the future. She would need to move on towards a life with Spencer. Nadine looked at her watch and knew she should take a shower and get ready. In less than an hour she would be seeing Spencer to tell him about his father and she needed to prepare herself for that.

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I hope you like this chapter. I know it was sad and depressing but I promise some good times will be coming soon. I promise Spencer will be in the next chapter.

Please Read and Review and tell me what you think.

Thanks


	4. Chapter 4

I'm so sorry for the time lapse in which I have updated a chapter. I plan on updating all my stories and I might throw in a few new stories as well. As always let me know what you think.

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Spencer was at his Aunt Alexis house playing with his cousins, Christina and Molly. They were In the living room playing on the floor having a good time. He loved it when he got to visit his cousins; it was a rare occasion when he got to play with anyone his age. He spends most of his days with nannies and tutors, mostly adults. His cousins and him were laughing and having fun playing with each other. The doorbell rings and Alexis go to answer it while the kids continue to play with each other. She opens the door and sees Nadine and invites her in. Nadine walks in and sees Spencer playing and immediately smiles and continues to watch him for a few seconds. Then Spencer spots Nadine and his face immediately lit up. He gets up and runs right towards her and into her arms.

"Nadine!" he says excitedly.

She picks him up and holds him.

"I've missed you, "Spencer says.

"I've missed you too," Nadine replies.

Alexis watched the interaction between the two and noticed Spencer's demeanor with Nadine. She immediately realized Nikolas knew exactly what he was doing and what was best for Spencer. At first Alexis felt hurt that Nikolas didn't want to leave Spencer to her since they were family but now she knew he was just doing what was best for his son and nobody else.

Nadine put Spencer down and he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to Christina and Molly. The two girls looked at Nadine with curiosity. They had no idea who she was.

"Come on, Nadine, play with us?"

"Of course. Do you want to introduce me to your friends?"

"Nadine, these are my cousins, Christina and Molly. This is my friend, Nadine."

"It's a pleasure."

Nadine sat on the floor next to Spencer as he continued to play.

"So what are we playing?"

"Knights and Castles."

"I see."

Nadine sat there on the floor as she watched the kids play with each other.

Alexis walked over to the kids, "I need to borrow Nadine for a bit."

Nadine gets off the floor and follows Alexis into the kitchen.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"Sure, thank you."

Alexis goes over to the coffeemaker and puts a pot of coffee on and then walks to the kitchen table and sits across from Nadine.

"Nadine, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay now. I read Nikolas' letter today."

"So how was that? I bet emotional."

"Yeah…You could say that. But I think it did help. He was trying to explain why never told me how he felt and tried to apologize for so much but by the end he was asking me to take care of Spencer and for me to love again and move on. The truth is that I have loved him for so long and I never let myself try to move on. This is the first time some sense was knocked into me showing me that is what I need to do. Now I don't have to think of just myself. I will need to think of Spencer first and what he will need. I can't tell you how many times I told Nikolas after Emily died when he wanted to give up how he needs to live and be there for Spencer. I don't want to be like that."

"Are you mad at Nikolas?"

"No, I understand why he did what he did. It makes me more frustrated than anything. He was always making decisions for me because he thought he was doing the right thing."

Alexis automatically felt guilty.

"Nadine, I think I owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"Back then when you were together and I saw how you felt about and him and how he didn't reciprocate those feelings. I told him he needed to let you go so you would be able to find someone who could love you. I now feel that I took precious time form you guys. Time where you could be happy. Time for him to really evaluate his feelings for you."

"Alexis, it is not your fault but thank you for telling me. It's really nobody's fault. Is it my fault for letting him go and not staying and fighting? Is it his fault for not realizing his feelings at that time? You were just telling him the truth. It's really nobody's fault. I can't even blame Rebecca for it."

"Well I can. I never trusted that woman."

Nadine and Alexis laughed in unison.

"I never said I liked her," Nadine replied.

Alexis went to get the coffee and poured it into the coffee mugs. She went to bring the mugs to the kitchen table and sat back down.

"All I can say is that I'm sorry. He was my nephew and I loved him but I feel sad that in the end he was alone. He didn't have to be."

"Well you can't blame him for that. Don't we all think that we have all the time in the world and he was still young?"

"Yeah…I guess I can't say I haven't done the same thing over the years. But, I'm glad that whatever Nikolas said in the letter was helpful for you moving forward. I know that is what he would want."

"I know. Thank you so much. How are you really holding up?"

"Okay. I guess. I just miss him."

"I know that feeling."

"How did you want to tell Spencer?"

"Just being direct and honest. Try answering all his questions and just being there for him."

"Are you ready?"

"Not really…but as ready as I will ever be."

"I think it's time to be honest with Spencer. He thinks Nikolas will be back any day now. He needs to know the truth."

"Okay let's go."

They both get up from the kitchen table and walk towards the living room and preparing themselves for what was about to transpire. They hated what they were about to do but they knew they needed to do it. It was time Spencer knew about what happened to his father. Unfortunately, there was no one else to be the bearer of the bad news. That was there job as Spencer's only family left.


End file.
